RISE AXELBLOG

So, despite my number one pick overall, Tom Brady, tearing all the ligaments in his leg, I beat that turd Gilbert by a comfortable margin.  This week I go up against Alex Quezada, arguably the most experienced FF player in our league.  Unfortunately, for him, he is going to experience what it feels like to go 0-2.

Opponent: Alex Quezada’s team, El Makiavaliko (Spanish for “The Makiaveliko”)

• QB Drew Brees:  Are you sure that’s not Drew Barrymore out there?  ’Cause that drew throws like a pussy!  Good luck without Marques Colston!
• RB Willis McGahee:  What you talking bout Willis? Because I know it is not about you starting this weekend.  Your running back sounds like a homosexual hamburger at Mcdonald’s.
• RB Kevin Smith:  You should stick to directing movies.  Even Silent Bob could run better than you.
• WR Anquan Boldin:  You spelled Antwan wrong faggot!  Whats it like living in Larry Fitzgerald’s shadow? 
• WR Jerricho Cotchery:  More like Crotch-ery, cuz this guy stinks…am I right?  Next week try drafting Skeet Ulrich from the TV show Jericho, you might have better results.
• WR Torry Holt: Have fun NOT catching any passes on the worst team in the league.  Torri Spelling, of 90210 fame, is calling.  She wants her girly name back.  Twat!
• TE Randy McMichael:  Are you getting your players from the Dollar Menu or what?  Whats wrong, were Shaun Mcdonald and Donovan McNabb already taken?
• Def Buffalo Bills: Good choice going with a powerhouse like the Buffalo Bills.  Lord knows not seeing a winning record in 15 years has made them tough as nails.
• K Neil Rackers:  Grandpas around the country called, they want their first name back!