RISE AXELBLOG

So, I just got done reading this post from Amir Blumenfeldregarding a hilarious tradition he has for Fantasy Football every year.  He basically goes down the line and insults his entire team.  In honor of this and in order to have something to post more often, every Thursday will be Fantasy Football Rip Day at my blog.  I will attempt to rip on my opponent’s team every week.  This should be fun.

This week I am playing Gilbert Torres’ team Average Gil’s:

• QB Marc Bulger: You spelled Mark wrong you queer!  The only successful Bulger this week will be the bulger in my pants after you suck ass against Philly!
• RB Jamal Lewis: Jamal Lewis will get tackled for more losses than ever this game, not because he is slow, but because his fat ass’ gravity will pull defenders to him.
• RB Edgerrin James: I wish extra points were awarded for fucked up first names, Gilbert would win by a landslide.  You would do a better job Edgerrin the lawn at my house than running in the NFL.  Scrub!
• WR Braylon Edwards: Good thing you play for the Browns, ‘cause you are gonna get shitted on in Week 1.  Pac Man Jones is gonna treat you like a Night Club bouncer and leave you in a wheelchair.
• WR Larry Fitzgerald:  You would have been better off picking Larry Bird than this piece of shit excuse for a receiver.
• WR Greg Jennings: More like, Greg Jenningsfer.  ‘Cause he playes like a pre-pubescent girl with the name Jennifer.  Plus he’s gay!
• TE Owen Daniels:  A TE from Houston?  You would have been better of drafting out of the AFL.  This guys draft stock should have crashed and died like Owen Hart.
• Def Colts:  There hasn’t been a good defense in Indy since the San Diego Chargers visited.  Colts Defense is like an oxymoron.
• K Adam Vinatieri:  Is he on the Mike Vanderjagt 4 year plan, because a rookie made all of New England forget you ever existed.  I didn’t know HAS-BEEN was spelled with a V.

Hope you enjoyed it folks!