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I am officially dumbstruck

I just finished watching one of the best/worst, strangest/coolest, smartest/dumbest movies ever.  I am talking about Southland Tales, written and directed by Richard Kelley (Donnie Darko).  

Let me start by telling you about the cast.  

A movie came out in 2006 called Bobby which featured a huge cast of very talented actors and Ashton Kutcher.  

Southland Tales takes this approach but inserts some of the oddest choices of actors I have ever seen in one movie. The cast includes:

  • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the main role.
  • Justin Timberlake 
  • Will Sasso of MADtv fame
  • Booger from revenge of the nerds
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar as a Porn star turned pop star/activist
  • Cheri Oteri of SNL fame
  • Sean William Scott
  • Bai Ling of creepy Asian model fame
  • Jon Lovitz as a hard-ass cop(never thought i’d say that)
  • Mandy Moore
  • Kevin Smith aka Silent Bob
  • And a brief cameo by John Cena

I can’t even to begin to explain the plot of this movie except to say that, like Kelley’s Donnie Darko, the script is fucking weird.


There’s a scene in which Justin Timberlake is adorning a bloody shirt pounding Budweisers and lip syncing The Killers “I Got Soul” that pretty much sums up how insane this movie is.

See, isnt’ that a goddamn trip?

There is also another scene in which two Hummer-ish SUVs have sex.  You gotta look that one up yourself.  Seriously, like, ball hitch-to-exhaust pipe truck sex.  Very disturbing. 


All in all, this movie gave me every single possible reason to hate it.

But I LOVED it.

Check it out if you get a chance because I think this is gonna be another one of those cult movies (see Boondock Saints) that never came out in theaters but grew ten-fold on DVD.

This might even replace Funny Games as the weirdest movie I’ve seen this year. 


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