RISE AXELBLOG

Things are getting ugly around here.  My team is sitting at 3-5-1 and looking about as pointless as one of Sam’s tattoos.  Fortunately, Sam’s team is a pile of hot camel dung and I am gonna bury it this week.  Here is his team, Carlo’s Spicy Weiner:

• QB Vince Young-  He’s like Steve Young…except black…and terrible at football.  If I were Vince Young, I would want to kill myself too!
• RB Danny Woodhead- They should call him Danny GoodHead, because he sucks balls!  He looks like a high school drug dealer.
• RB Fred Jackson- Take the speed of Steven Jackson and the strenghth of Fred Taylor, put them in a wood-chipper, defacate on them, set them on fire and that pretty much sums up Fred Jackson.  You’d be better off starting Jermaine Jackson.
• WR Roy E. Williams- Should change his name to Terr E. Bull.  You know you’re bad when Detroit doesn’t want you on their team.
• WR Chad Ochocinco-  Last week he was Chad UnoCero…as in ONE catch and Zero TDs.
• WR Eddie Royal- Two years ago his skills were Royal.  Now he’s just the court jester.  His skills are worth a laugh.
• TE Dustin Keller-  What are the Jets averaging, like, 7 points a game?  Thats great news…if you’re LT!
• DEF Bears-  DA Bears!  Brian Urlacher celebrated his 43rd birthday this week.  As he blew out his candles he wished to be relevant again.
• K Adam Vinatieri- Good job with your 1 field goal last week.  Maybe this week you could really make a mark on the team and become a player that is there for more than just kickoffs and extra points.